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Friday, May 4, 2012

When does it seem real?

For almost six months I have given medicines twice a day, have gone to countless doctor's appointments, have worried and watched as Iz had trouble breathing, felt her heart thudding in her chest as it worked too hard, heard her swish-swish-swish heartbeat from her murmur, been through surgery, daily see her OHS scar, see the numerous little wounds from her various IVs and lines, see the spots where various leads were attached and the adhesive has not yet worn off. There are numerous little signs and memories of all of it.

So why, in those first few moments after waking, do I still think it must all be a dream because surely all of those things couldn't have happened to us?